RAMBLINGS: "The Potential"

I am wishy washy – most times.  I “ride the fence”, “keep the peace”.   On the other hand, I’m a natural born leader – I just don’t like the pressure of responsibility.  Lately I’ve been wishy washy about a decision on an additional source of potential income.  “Potential” is the key word here.  What to do?  What to do??

“The Potential” is real – however, I don’t care for the background work that needs to be done.  I’m not sure I want to invest the time and money if, knowing me, I’m not going to give it 100%.  Why wouldn’t I give 100%?  Honestly, the above mentioned

investing is minimal in comparison to other ventures.  THAT “minimal” is why I don’t give 100% - the risk is too small and I can walk away whenever I feel like it…..no pressure.  Pressure is what motivates me – but dreams really should.

“The Potential” is what’s tempting me.  Decisions, decisions….

There are two things on my mind:  A land purchase and more time with my husband.  Over the past several years, one of the things I’ve been contemplating is purchasing land, and last year I came across something.  The land is not in our financial realm but it remains available, as if waiting for me!  I was looking for something ancestral but at least this is the same area where a lot of my people are from.  This property is on my mind daily.  And today, I overheard two little kids, who were playing, say “we need to go back to our land”.  I generally tune kids out but what they said somehow made its way to my ears.  I pick up on “signs” and out of everything going on this day, those were the words I heard: “we need to go back to our land”.

“The Potential” could make that purchase possible as well as turn my husband’s full time job into a part time job and eliminate my part time job.  So, could I turn that land purchase into the pressure I need to make “The Potential” happen?  Should I try to make the dream the pressure or should I make the purchase the pressure?  Or should I just ditch “The Potential” and the pressure and pursue other avenues?  The land will happen if that’s what I want, and I know I want more time with my husband - the item in question here is “The Potential”.  To do or not to do…

I think I have more questions.  ARRGGGHHH!!!